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Don’t Worry – It’s Normal

I totally get that it is normal to worry and wonder about all the weird stuff your body does at the end of pregnancy.. heck the whole time really.  I decided to write a little “guide” for my babycenter birth club for shits and giggles.  So.. here we go:

I know we are all waddling to the end. I figure I would offer some not-asked-for-know-it-all wisdom. ;)

During the last month of pregnancy it is normal to experience:

1. A desire to harm human kind in any way , for any reason. This includes: chewing with their mouth open, saying things like “more better”, asking how you feel, breathing… You know, annoying stuff.

2. A feeling like someone kicked you in the vag over and over again causing you to hunch over like the stupid men in the crotch/baseball videos from AFV.

3. A feeling like your uterus may just drop to the floor at any moment. It won’t, trust me.

4. “Lightening crotch” – this is your LO’s way of reminding you where they usually come out from… You know, in case you forgot that little tidbit of info.

5. Loads of hip and back pain. Blah blah blah hormones blah blah blah loosening ligaments blah blah. It sucks. Sure, it may keep you up at night because no matter which way you turn… it hurts. Use these special midnight moments to your benefit. I’ve personally been considering methods to embarrass this LO as a teenager. You know… A video clip of her playing with her own poo in the tub… Stuff like that.

6. More discharge. Heck you may lose that mucus plug! Google it if you aren’t sure what it may look like. If you are pissed at your SO ask them to google it for you. Remember losing the plug doesn’t mean you’re going to have your baby in the next few hours… It could but only if you are one of those annoying pregnant women that has her kid in two hours. I personally lost my plug two weeks before having my daughter. Walking around at 3cm is probably more normal than you want to believe.

7. Your boobs have a mind of their own. Heck, my husband barely gets a feel before I try to decapitate him. This is also normal.

8. Random crying. Oh look, a bunny!!! *weeps* or “I’m going to be a terrible mother!” *weeps*. “My husband forgot to bring me ice cream/tacos/chocolate covered pretzels/Oreos!!!!” *weeps*. Again, very normal. You may even experience the “I don’t know why I’m crying cry”

Other things to keep in mind:

1. Trust me… When you are having “for real” contractions you will know. There is a big difference between “ouch, that was uncomfortable” and “WTF?!?! Why do you hate me body?!?!?”

2. If you are questioning yourself about calling your doctor… Just call!!! (and use common sense.). Trust me, they’ve heard it all. “I stubbed my toe! I’m afraid it will harm the baby!” To “I can’t feel my legs, is this normal?”

Here is a guide I follow for emergencies:

  • Bleeding – go to the hospital.
  • Leaking fluid – go to the hospital
  • Extreme dizziness – call your doctor ( and don’t drive yourself )
  • Severe nausea & vomiting – call doctor
  • Painful urination – call doctor
  • Baby coming out – call 911

You know.. Simple stuff.

<3 and above all enjoy these last weeks of “I can’t, I’m pregnant.”

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35+5.. Yeah.. I’m a fail blogger.

Yeah… so I totally had every intent of posting.. I really really did.  I’ve had an interesting little journey up to this point so I figure I need to fill in some details from 28 weeks up!

So at my next appointment I only gained 2 which was acceptable.  He did ask me if I was eating ice cream… *shakes head* Anyway my blood sugar dropped super low when I started to “low carb” again.  (It was 56 one day) So I figured I’d just stick with my diet as is and see what happens.. well what did happen is this past week I lost 3 pounds.  I may gain it back.. who knows.  You know how it is with plus size people.. I typically pre-pregnancy could fluctuate 10 pounds up and down depending on how much water I retained and if I POOPED.. There, I said it.. POOP.

Savannah is doing really well.  Lately her kicks have turned into nudges and squirmings and full body shifting that leaves me sore.  And when I say sore I mean it feels like someone kicked me in my lady-bits over and over again.  Seriously, wtf?  I wonder if I have varicose down there or something.  Of course there is the fun and more frequent “lightening crotch” as well.. good times.  Then my present from Caitlyn’s labor (hemorrhoid) has been joining the party.  I should name it.. let’s call is Hemmy.  Hemmy is mean and likes to make an appearance when I need to be working on the computer which makes me being at the desk difficult.  Hemmy, I need to make money, ok?

Another thing on my mind lately is increased anxiety.  The odd thing is I don’t *think” I’m feeling anxious.  I noticed my hands hurting more and thought it was pregnancy induced tendinitis or such.. no.. I realized I was clinching my fists during my sleep again.  I’ve noticed my jaw is clinched almost constantly.. and last night I had two episodes of sleep paralysis.. google that up.. it’s fun.  All this is pointing to feeling more anxious.  The fun news is next week I start my taper from Zoloft for delivery.  This scares me even more.  If I’m already feeling on edge and I am off Zoloft perhaps my panic attacks will start up again in full force.. and palpitations and and and… you see where I am going here?  I’m trying to settle my mind down.  I’m doing more relaxation exercises.. etc.

You may be wondering why am I getting so anxious all of the sudden.  I talked to my therapist today and admitted something I didn’t really want to admit to myself.  I’m afraid.  Each “pregnancy” situation in the hospital has ended up being very dramatic.  With Caitlyn I had severe postpartum hemorrhage.  With my twin miscarriage the same.. along with a blood transfusion.  So here we go for round three and I’m scared that I’m going to bleed out again.  I’m scared after I have the baby I will dive into postpartum depression again. It was such a dark time for me and the thought of feeling that way again.. it scares me to death.  I know we are in a different situation this time.  I have family support all around me.  I have good mental health care.  I have good physical health care.  It doesn’t keep me from having these PTSD-like visions of worst-case-scenario situations.

Wow.. it was hard to write that out.  I think writing can be cleansing.. so maybe just putting it out there will help me a little?

In fun news I have my hospital bag mostly packed.  I got some great slippers!  (they are black, white & hot pink which is automagically win) Little travel size toiletries.  Nipple balm, mommy bottom spray, depends (heh), nursing bar x2, socks, yoga pants, long sleeve stop & hoodie and chapstick.  I also packed my pretty pushers gown.  We will see if I end up using that or not. :)  For Savannah I’ve packed up her take-home outfit, a few long sleeve onsies and two footie jumpers (with little hand covers) just in case.. and some little hats we crocheted her.  I think overall we are set.  I can’t imagine needing more.  Now for an updated picture.. here we go!

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28+5 – or something.

28 weeks

So what you see above is a picture of me at exactly 28 weeks from last Friday.  28 weeks marks the start of the 3rd trimester!  What a long yet somewhat short feeling road this has been.  I can’t believe we are in the home stretch.  Friday will be 11 weeks until I am the full 40!  Holy cow!  Where the heck is the time going?  It feels like just yesterday that we were in the car.. driving to the Planned Parenthood to get verification of pregnancy.  What a SHOCK it all was.. a super happy surprise.  Now we are in the home stretch!

So.. look again at the above picture.  Apparently I don’t look pregnant.  People still are surprised when I say I am expecting.. much less 7 months along.  “You’re pregnant?!”  Yes.. I’m pregnant.  I suppose it doesn’t matter how many belly smoothing things I use (Thank you Belevation & BellaBand) apparently I still just look like a Fatty McFatty.   I think I look pregnant.. and I certainly FEEL it.

My prenatal appointments have been going well.  The only somewhat annoying thing is how I am treated with weight gain.  At my 28 week appointment I had gained 5 pounds back from the initial weight I had lost.  I was still under that initial weight when I came in but 5 pounds in 4 weeks.. le gasp!  They ask me about my diet, etc.  I’m honestly eating very healthfully and I drink almost 100oz of water a day!  No soda!  So then the doctor asks “Are you moving?”  By this point I am a bit annoyed.  So I say “No, I lay in a vegetative state all day.”  He laughed but I think he got the point.  So now I get on the scale every day and try to eat better than the day before and still I’m gaining.  I’m a little worried about becoming too preoccupied with it.  Here is a sample day for me (from yesterday)

Morning -

  • 1 cup coffee w half&half.  1 tsp sugar
  • Fat Free Yogurt
  • 1% milk (1 cup) with shredded wheat

Lunch -

  • Peanut Butter & Jelly (I know.. but some days I don’t feel like making anything)
  • 1% milk (1 cup)

Snack -

  • Popcorn

Dinner -

  • Salad (balsamic vinegar & a little olive oil)
  • 1 manicotti (everyone else had 2)
  • 1 small piece garlic bread

Dessert

  • small Italian ice

Total Calories – 1890

Total Water Intake – 110 oz

Ok, so does that look horrid to you?  I mean I get that perhaps the pb&j isn’t the best thing to eat but seriously?  I’m keeping it under 2k a day while pregnant.  I’m 5’9″ and originally was 312 lb.  I also take my prenatal vitamin daily.  This still puts me in a caloric range of weight loss.  BLARGH!!!!!

Here is a thought.  Maybe I’m gaining weight because I have a FREAKING HUMAN BEING GROWING INSIDE OF ME!  Could be.. just maybe.. that and retaining water in the MIDDLE OF THE FREAKING SUMMER… just another thought.  Ok, I’m done.  I’ll try to do better about updates.

 

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24 weeks plus?

It’s been a while. I’m still battling a bit of exhaustion. I hate feeling constantly tired! I’m sure everyone does. My appointment last week went really well. It was so nice to go right in Brewster instead of Mount Kisco! My next appointment is August 14th with the GD test. I’m not worried about it like many ladies are. I haven’t gained anything from the past visit a month ago. They are, of course, happy that I’m not gaining as I’m a fatty McFatty. But hey.. it’s all good. I’m feeling pretty good about how I look lately. Wanna see?

24weeks

over the past week my baby house has moved up way past my belly button and feels as hard as a rock in my upper abdomen.  I’m also excited that I look more pregnant.  I’m pretty sure most people wouldn’t be confused thinking it was only fat and not fat+baby.  Want to see another picture!  This is one we took the other day of my daughter kissing my belly.  She is such an angel!

caitlyn&belly

I’ve been focusing on spending a lot of time with Caitlyn.  I worry about the transition for her from only child for the past 10 years to big sister.  She is so excited and sweet about it.  I just want her to feel she still gets as many snuggles and mommy-time as she needs.  I plan on letting her be as helpful as she wants with the baby.  I am still planning on nursing.  I’m going to talk to Dr. Devi (she is an absolutely amazing pediatrician in Brewster, NY) about taking Zoloft while nursing.  I feel so blessed to already know the pediatrician!  Not everyone is so lucky!  So, if you live in the Hudson Valley and are looking for a great pediatrician look up Dr. Devi!

Beyond that we have been going through loads of clothing!  We still had all of Caitlyn’s baby clothes from 10 years ago!  With that plus my cute little nieces clothing (we haven’t even scratched the surface of what she has) we are totally set!  I feel so extremely blessed.

As far as other feelings – my anxiety disorder has been much more manageable between my therapist and the zoloft.  I am still just blown away by how much better I really feel.  It has now been over a month since I’ve needed to take any Vistaril!  YAY!  Also next week I have the second fetal heart echo.  I’m hoping now that Savannah is a bit bigger we will be able to have them see everything they need to see and maybe get a confirmation of gender. (though I am 100% certain it’s a girl)

I also ordered a gown from Pretty Pushers!  It was on zulily for only 16.00!  If you don’t know about pretty pushers they are really cute labor gowns that are soft and comfy and made to allow modesty.  There are openings for all the monitors and even a low back for the epidural.  What I was really excited about is they had a plus-size option!  YAY!  I’ll be sure to review it once I get it in the mail!

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22 weeks in.

22weeks

So here I am 22 weeks along!  I can’t believe I’m over half way there!  I still find myself a bit worried about the baby even though everything has always been fine this entire time!  Tomorrow we have the redo anatomy scan and then the next day is a special scan on her little heart so we can be sure my SSRI’s haven’t done anything to it.  There hasn’t been anything that showed there is a problem.. but of course they are double checking to be safe.

Savannah seems to think my bladder is a trampoline.  She really gets going sometimes.  I end up having to rush to the bathroom and then after that it is just this uncomfortable thud, thud, thud.. but at the same time it makes me smile because I know she is in there hopping around and doing well!

I’m still panic attack free!  I think it has been 3 or so weeks later.  I’m super happy right now with the Zoloft.  I feel so much better throughout the day that it is just like night and day.  My husband says he can tell a huge difference.  I’m finding I’m more interactive with everyone and not so much in my shell.

I also have this really odd craving for Captain Crunch.  It has to have crunch berries!  I wake up in the middle of the night with the thought “Must have captain crunch for breakfast!”  I am good though.. I only let myself have a single bowl.  I mean.. I could gorge on like.. the whole box but at least I seem to keep it to only 1 every other day or so. :D

Lets see.. what else?  I will be sure to get pictures tomorrow at the ultrasound of our new baby girl!  I can’t wait to meet her!