Archive for the 'Training' Category

Change

Laiyne August 28th, 2007

It has been a long while since I’ve picked up a pen to write.  So many things have happened since an entry has been put into this ledger.  I suppose now is a good time to write. 

Navane’s absence has taken it’s toll.  I don’t think it is so wrong to have lost all hope of his return.  To become stronger and not wallow in loneliness has been my goal.  I focused on my training and finally arrived in Outland.  I have been lucky enough to receive help from several of my guild mates.  I am hoping that eventually I will be able to fight by their side, and not behind them.  Perhaps this path will lead me to where Elune wants me to be.

Kelandros has been very kind as well, helping me with my first tasks in Zangarmarsh.  Teul has been helpful as well and along with Kelandros helped me fund enough money to train on my new mount, Storm.  He is a beautiful white saber and seems to go well enough with my features.  It’s noteworthy that while we change into shadowform we look the same… what had seemed so pure turns into darkness.

Darkness.  Well, now… I met a man in Hellfire recently who told me that I should abandon the dark path I was on and leave it for the path of light.  As I stood there he gently but firmly gripped my neck in his hands… and explained to me that as quickly as that, the darkness would take hold of me, changing my person forever.  As I calmly stood there I thought of all the choices I had made to get me to this point I realized that this path will not be my undoing.  Elune herself has granted me the power and will to use the shadows to further her will.  What this man, and many do not know, is that my will has the wisdom of thousands of years.  My will can not be broken so easily easily by the path of shadows.  I have seen battles and sacrificed much more than just my body… and lived to tell the tale. 

A Shadow Priest

Laiyne June 11th, 2007

I have reached the point in my training where I have obtained my shadowform.  The feeling of finally reaching this point in my life is amazing.  I have come to accept that this is who I am.  Navane, with his warrior mind, seems to understand my feelings on battle and war better than anyone I have met.  With everything that has happened, with my mother dying, with Mal disappearing… I seem to have found myself.  At least, for today, I feel that I know who I am.  I am not a split soul.  I can choose to live my life to it’s fullest, to follow my heart, and not look back to past mistakes.

I’ve come to realize as I accept Shadowminx as part of me… my “self” becomes stronger.  I am more aware that she is there.  I am more aware that she is lending me her strength, but I am also more aware that much of the strength is my own.  The only thing that troubled me was when I was with Kelandros I became highly aware that she is there.  I don’t know if she is happy Kelandros is married, happy that he and Mabon are starting their family… happy that he has found happiness after he lost her… I can’t tell really.  I do know that for a time, when I was around him I couldn’t ignore that he was there.  I felt as if I was FORCED to listen intently.  I know that while her own soul aches over the love she has lost she is perhaps glad he does not have to suffer as she has.  But something has changed.  I don’t feel that intensity around Kelandros that I once felt.  I do feel that intensity… but it comes from my own heart and soul… and it’s when I’m with someone else.