A Shadow Priest
Laiyne June 11th, 2007
I have reached the point in my training where I have obtained my shadowform. The feeling of finally reaching this point in my life is amazing. I have come to accept that this is who I am. Navane, with his warrior mind, seems to understand my feelings on battle and war better than anyone I have met. With everything that has happened, with my mother dying, with Mal disappearing… I seem to have found myself. At least, for today, I feel that I know who I am. I am not a split soul. I can choose to live my life to it’s fullest, to follow my heart, and not look back to past mistakes.
I’ve come to realize as I accept Shadowminx as part of me… my “self” becomes stronger. I am more aware that she is there. I am more aware that she is lending me her strength, but I am also more aware that much of the strength is my own. The only thing that troubled me was when I was with Kelandros I became highly aware that she is there. I don’t know if she is happy Kelandros is married, happy that he and Mabon are starting their family… happy that he has found happiness after he lost her… I can’t tell really. I do know that for a time, when I was around him I couldn’t ignore that he was there. I felt as if I was FORCED to listen intently. I know that while her own soul aches over the love she has lost she is perhaps glad he does not have to suffer as she has. But something has changed. I don’t feel that intensity around Kelandros that I once felt. I do feel that intensity… but it comes from my own heart and soul… and it’s when I’m with someone else.